Riding the Wave of Emotional Cycles

I don't know who needs to hear this today, but I want to remind you to know it's okay to FEEL.

If everything was "fine all the time," why would you even need therapy? Or be on this email list?

You don't have to apologize for the way you feel... especially in our sessions together. I'm not a "good vibes only" therapist because it's not difficult or uncomfortable for me to acknowledge when someone else is in pain.

Having been through a lot of painful things myself, and with the passing of my dear grandmother last week, I know intimately just how much we were made to feel the entire spectrum of human experience.

So you don't have to apologize for "burdening me" with feelings (isn't that why you're in therapy?); or dismiss them right after you brought your feelings up ("I had a hard week but its fine no worries"); or otherwise just having feelings in the first place ("today I'm angry, but I guess I should feel grateful").

Emotions don't have to be scary, conquered, or controlled.

They just wish to be understood, heard, and felt; so that they can be moved through and guide you toward taking inspired action. They come up with energy, they get cycled through, then there is a release. This is how trauma is processed. This is how forgiveness happens. This is how people move on from difficult stress.

Find a safe container. Feel everything, the thoughts, the sensations, and emotions.

A lot of the process of "learning to do yoga" is not really about the physical poses, but UN-learning dysfunctional or imbalancing behavior patterns. A lot of that process has to do with sitting with these cycles of emotion. The upwelling, the intensity, the feeling, the expression, the release, and the aftermath.

With feelings, the only way out is through.

Nobody can do the work of feeling for you. Nobody can feel what you feel, in the way you feel it. That's why you have your body, as an instrument to help you detect what's going on. That's why you have a personalized practice - what happens when the feeling is too personal that nobody else could understand, or that the person who is normally your guide is not available to you? You have to feel it and do it yourself.

Emotions are highly sensitive inner guides and natural responses to your environment.

The more we are afraid of our feelings, the more they dictate our lives. Just because we are "not in our bodies," doesn't mean that all that unprocessed emotion doesn't get stored. And if you are unconscious of your emotion, then that means you typically do not interact and engage with your emotions. So over time, the issue gets louder and louder until it turns into a painful enough event to capture your conscious attention. This is usually some form of emotional suffering.

So then, you have to give yourself permission to truly FEEL

Feel sad.

Feel happy.

Feel angry.

Feel generous.

Feel pain.

Feel joy.

Feel lonely.

Feel connected.

Feel everything.

Once the wave is allowed to pass, then a new wave will come up, and then another, and another. That's just the nature of emotions; once one cycle ends, another begins.
It's the same pattern that the breath follows, every day, every moment, for the rest of your life.

So that's why breathwork practices are one of the very best things you can do to help yourself move through intense periods of emotion; and also help you regulate your moods and daily emotional cycles.

You need to have a solid foundation of knowing how to sit through those cycles and get through them on your own. This is how we know our nervous systems have become strong enough to withstand the demands of our life.

It's not the absence of the cycles/waves, or a complete flatlining of our human experience, but rather our ability to ride out the waves without getting thrown off our true path and connection to ourselves. Being able to do this, and do this well, is how we know our personal practice is working.

So keep on breathing. Keep on feeling. Just when it may seem like you're in the dark, it's more likely that you're about to break through to the other side of the wave.

Did this resonate with you?